Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Failure keeps you humble and Success keeps you glowing....



www.FunAndFunOnly.net (SridhaR)


ONE PARAGRAPH THAT EXPLAINS LIFE!


Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983.


From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied:

" The world over -- 50 million  children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis,

500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the  grand slam,

50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals,

when I was holding a cup I never asked GOD 'Why me?' .

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD 'Why me?'  "

Happiness keeps you Sweet,

Trials keep you Strong,


Sorrow keeps you Human,


Failure keeps you humble and Success keeps you glowing, but only Faith & Attitude Keeps you going...


Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Deadlock is one of the confusionable concept in CSC.

Deadlock is one of the confusable concept in CSC. Here its explained in a great way.


Explanation:

Boss said to secretary : For a week we will go abroad, so make arrangement.



Secretary make call to Husband : For a week my boss and I will be

going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover : My wife is going abroad for a

week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private

tuition: I have work for a week, so you need not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather : Grandpa, for a week I don't

have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Let's spend the week together.

Grandpa (the 1st boss ;)) make call to his secretary : This week I am

spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend that meeting.



Secretary make call to her husband : This week my boss has some work,

we canceled our trip.



Husband make call to secret lover : We cannot spend this week

together, my wife has canceled her trip.



Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving private

tuition: This week we will have class as usual.



Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this

week I have to attend class. Sorry I can't give you company.



Grandpa make call to his secretary : Don't worry this week we will

attend that meeting, so make arrangement .....................







This is called DEAD LOCK..........CLEAR?

Monday, August 2, 2010

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­

The Guys' Rules­­­­­­­­­
          At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good from the female side)

Now here are the rules from the male side.  
These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
------------------------------------------------------------

1.   Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.


1. Crying is emotional blackmail.



1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just come to the point and say it directly!!


1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. ‘may be’ , ‘perhaps’ and ‘whatever’ , such answers don’t serve any purpose



1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. don’t force us to drag you to a doctor.

See a doctor
yourself.

1.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days



1. If you are no heroines, don’t expect us to act like heroes.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the  other one



1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


1. Christopher Columbus did  NOT need directions and neither do we.


1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.




1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We
will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the argument.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.



1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.  Really
…..

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as CRICKET
OR FOOTBALL.

1. You have enough clothes.



1. You have too many shoes.



1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!


1. Thank you for reading this.  


1. All points are marked as point no. (1), becoz all points are equally Important.
There is no thing as More Important or less Important.

-------------------------------------------------------
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh

Friday, July 30, 2010

THIS IS HOW WE MISS OUT SOMETHING CALLED "LIFE"

THIS IS HOW WE MISS OUT SOMETHING CALLED "LIFE"

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the
bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child
collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
 
 
 
QUESTIONS :
1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?














 

ANSWER :
The husband just said "I am with you Darling"
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point
in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened.. No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step". Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are
actually not as difficult as you think.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
This story is really worth reading. ..... Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship,
 in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out something called L.I.F.E

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Never Argue with a Woman!

Never Argue with a Woman http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=D88FFB4C-0E05-4B15-8811-14F8812810F7

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the
wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=EF874185-D937-4EE8-98E2-BD404127EC9D

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, ( thinking , 'Isn't that obvious ? ')
http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=C0CB5E74-4867-4474-9DF2-DD02E00F3145

'You're in a
Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.  
http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=50CA2ED2-E6A2-49A3-BA9A-4B51506D3C78

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing I'm reading'
 
http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=4BC346DC-9845-4ED2-AD98-DC2098E32C28
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.  I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
 
http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=ACEB0926-6979-4785-A073-5AA16DC5DDD4

'For reading a book,' she replies
,
 

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,

 
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'
 
http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=B9879447-7EB2-4C96-B0B8-53D956233483
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.  I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

 
http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=E9D3FD8C-16D1-4831-AA50-397F7B595859

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault ,' says the woman.

 
http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=F282C9E0-C2FA-463F-AA14-635894F75A8A
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.
 
http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=A14A4320-E640-4E2C-8ED7-DB6E63AFD39F
'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'
 
http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=C8F26007-12C0-441D-99BC-A3372C343CB0

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=57912AD5-7E36-4BC9-AAEB-1EF1A23EAA60

http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=4F32C6D3-6BC3-453A-8D47-9E8782968728MORAL : Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
http://www.incredimail.com/app/?tag=emoticon_click_me&lang=9&version=5853718&setup_id=7&aff_id=96914&tID=105397&addon=IncrediMail&id=95202&guid=8D5445E5-DCF4-4A47-9043-F0E3ABAE16B4   
 
 
cid:018001cacbe6$e3703a20$0201a8c0@comp

Monday, July 19, 2010

Self Appraisal..................

A little boy went to a telephone booth which was at the cash counter of a  store and dialed a number.
The store-owner observed and listened to the  conversation: 
 
Boy                : "Lady, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn? 
Woman         : (at the other end of the phone line) "I  already have someone to cut my lawn." 
Boy                : "Lady, I will cut your lawn for half the price than
  the person who cuts your lawn now." 
Woman         : I'm very satisfied with the person who is  presently cutting my lawn. 
Boy                : (with more perseverance) "Lady, I'll even sweep the floor  and the stairs of your house for free.
Woman         : No, thank you. 
 
 With a smile on his face, the little  boy replaced the receiver. The store-owner, who was listening to all this,  walked over to the boy. 


Store Owner       : "Son... I like  your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a  job." 
Boy                      : "No thanks, 
Store Owner       :  But you were really pleading for one.
Boy                      : No Sir, I was just  checking my performance at the job I already have. I am the one who is  working for that lady I was talking to!"  



         
This is called

         "Self  Appraisal"
cid:image002.jpg@01CAFE33.0D783790 
  
 

The  difference between dream and aim,  

 

Dream  requires Soundless sleep to  see  
 
 

Whereas Aim  Requires Sleepless Efforts to Achieve.. ........  

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Relationships........

Relationships


The best relation ever is between two eyes,

“they blink together”

“Move together”

“Cry together”

“See together”

“Sleep together”

“STILL” they never see each other directly

“BUT” “when they see a girl” one will blink and other will not!!


“MORAL OF THE STORY”

A Girl can break any kind of relationship.

How good r U at chemistry?

Q. Which weapon can u make by c0mbining Potassium, Nickel and Iron?


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Ans: KNiFe.




Still confused?

See the Explanation:


Chemical symbol of Potassium = K,

Nickel = Ni

and

Iron = Fe.

So,


There combination is
'K Ni Fe'

How good r U at chemistry?

Q. Which weapon can u make by c0mbining Potassium, Nickel and Iron?


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Ans: KNiFe.




Still confused?

See the Explanation:


Chemical symbol of Potassium = K,

Nickel = Ni

and

Iron = Fe.

So,


There combination is
'K Ni Fe'

Mafia Godfather and the book-keeper

Mafia Godfather and the book-keeper


A Mafia Godfather finds out that his book-keeper has screwed him for ten million bucks.

This book-keeper is deaf and it was considered an occupational benefit why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed that a deaf book-keeper would not be able to hear anything and never have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to shake down the book-keeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he takes along his lawyer, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the book-keeper: "Where is the $10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The lawyer, using sign language, asks the book-keeper where the money is hidden.

The book-keeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The lawyer tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9mm pistol, puts it to the book-keeper's temple, cocks it up and says: "Ask him again!"


The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The book-keeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the lawyer: "Well, what'd he say?"

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(The reply is classic, scroll down to find out)
















The lawyer replies "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger!"

End of the year gifts.........

End of the year gifts


It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Flowers." "That's right!" the boy said, "But, how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the sweet shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets."

"That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor storeowner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with some excitement. The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"

With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

English a funny language

English a funny language


An oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together:-

1) Clearly misunderstood

2) Exact Estimate

3) Small Crowd

4) Act Naturally

5) Found Missing

6) Fully Empty

7) Pretty ugly


8) Seriously funny

9) Only choice

10) Original copies


And the Mother of all......


11) Happily Married

So you think you are Smart..............

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So you think you are Smart

So, take the following test presented here and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it."

OK, relax, clear your mind and... lets begin. Don't scroll down until you have the answer and dont cheat!

*******

1. What do you put in a toaster?

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Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.


*******


2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?


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Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat.

If you said "water" then proceed to question 3.



*******


3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

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Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing here reading these questions? If you said "glass," then! go on to Question 4.



*********


4. Its twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany(If you will recall, Germanyat the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany.)


Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germanyand West Germany.

Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germanyor in "no man's land"?

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Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else,

you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors", then proceed to the next question.


*********


5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from Londonto MilfordHaven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on.

In Sweden, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on.

In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmarthen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at MilfordHaven. What was the name of the bus driver?


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Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU! Read the question carfeully


********


Now pass this along to all your "smart friends" and hope they do better than you did.


(PS: 95% of people fail in most of the questions!)

--------------------------------------------

Realistic laws that Newton forgot to state...................

Realistic laws that Newton forgot to state - (aka Murphy's Law)



LAW OF QUEUE: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.



LAW OF TELEPHONE: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.



LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.



LAW OF THE WORKSHOP: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.



LAW OF THE ALIBI: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.



BATH THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.



LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.



LAW OF THE RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!



LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.



THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The pebble and smart thinking.....................

The pebble and smart thinking



Many years ago in a small Indian village, A farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The Moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful Daughter. So he proposed a bargain.



He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his Daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the Proposal.



So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let Providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black Pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag.



1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven.



2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven.



3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into Jail.



They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As They talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he Picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two Black pebbles and put them into the bag.



He then asked the girl to pick A pebble from the bag.



Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have Done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you Have told her?



Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:



1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.



2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag And expose the money-lender as a cheat.



3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order To save her father from his debt and imprisonment.



Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with The hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral And logical thinking.



The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with Traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses The above logical answers.



What would you recommend to the Girl to do?



Well, here is what she did....



The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without Looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path Where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.



"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the Bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I Picked."



Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had Picked the white one, and since the money-lender dared not admit his Dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.



MORAL OF THE STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution. It's only that we don't Attempt to think.

New years and my resolutions..............

While I'm not always the best at keeping resolutions, I'm consistent, and I'm sure this year will be better than ever before, see the progress I've made and a very Happy 2010 for you all



RESOLUTION #1:

2004: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2005: I will read at least 10 books a year.
2006: I will read 5 books a year.
2007: I will finish The Pelican Brief
2008: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.
2009: I will read at least one article this year.
2010: I will try and finish the comics section this year.

RESOLUTION #2:

2004: I will get my weight down below 75.
2005: I will watch my calories until I get below 80.
2006: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 85.

2007: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2008: I will work out 5 days a week.
2009: I will work out 3 days a week.
2010: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.


RESOLUTION #3:

2004: I will not spend my money frivolously.
2005: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
2006: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.
2007: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 2008.
2008: I will be totally out of debt by 2009.
2009: I will try to pay off the debt interest by 2010.

2010: I will try to be out of this country by 2011.


RESOLUTION #5:

2006: I will get married this year.
2007: I will stop looking at other women.
2008: I will not get involved with my GF.
2009: I will not let my new GF pressure me into another marriage.
2010: I will stop looking at other women.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Good bye mom....Good One!!!!


Good bye, Mom....
It looks like a sad  story...but do continue reading to the end...Its a lesson to learn..................
I was walking through the supermarket to pick up a few things when I
noticed an old lady following me around.  Thinking nothing of it, I
ignored her and continued on. Finally I went to the checkout line, but
she got in front of me.
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel
uncomfortable. It's just that you look like my son, who just died recently."
"I'm very sorry," I said to her, "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mom?' It would
make me feel so much better."
"Sure," I said. An odd request, but no harm would come of it.
As the old woman was leaving, I called out, "Good Bye, Mom!"
As I stepped up to the checkout counter, I saw that my total was $1027.50.
"How can that be?" I asked, "I only purchased a few things!"
"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Camera Freeks ...............


http://shrey27.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/nicepic-bird-on-camera.jpghttp://ourfunnyplanet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/bird.jpg
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_295/1217816146Ao0f72.jpg
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_287/1215611935luH3kY.jpg
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumb_252/1206636197lvB0Q0.jpgBird Sitting On A Long Lens Camera
Camera Birds
http://pixdaus.com/pics/12378953928Ysbxlb.jpgCamera Bird
http://www.greatbearent.com/Images/Gallery/Camera%20bird.jpg
http://www.quick-good-fortune.com/images/morelife-bird-camera.jpg

Interview ....... stress buster ;)

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.
Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele Communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.
.
Interviewer: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!
Candidate: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it ..
What happened is - due to cricket world cup I scored badly! in 12th. I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I cannot invest so much of money".(The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetakari Mahavidyalaya.
.
Interviewer: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.
Candidate : Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football world cup, and tennis tournaments. It is difficult to concentrate. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.
.
Interviewer: But 4+2 is 6.
Candidate: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.
.
Interviewer: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.
Candidate: No, no... I am talking about Exams!!
.
Interviewer: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?
Candidate: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST (Bus corporation in Maharashtra) through some relative.
.
Interviewer: Do you have any plans of higher study?
Candidate: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain!!
.
Interviewer: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?
Candidate: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As you can see I have experience of different platforms!
.
Interviewer: And which languages have you used?
Candidate: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages.
.
Interviewer: Why VC is better than VB?
Candidate: It is a common sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!
.
Interviewer: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?
Candidate: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MPs use in assembly.
.
Interviewer: What is your general project experience?
Candidate: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!
.

Interviewer: Can you tell me about your current job?
Candidate: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata InfoTech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows.
.

Interviewer: Do you have any project management experience?
Candidate: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and Excel. I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like 'Showstoppers ' , 'hotfixes', 'SEI-CMM','quality','versioncontrol','deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!
.

Interviewer: What are your expectations from our company?
Candidate: Not much.
1. I should at least get 40,000 in hand.
2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.
3. I believe in flexi-timings.
4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.
5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest Wednesday off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.
6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is Olympics coming up in China in the current year, I don't mind going there in that period.
As you can see I am modest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?
.


Interviewer: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. Welcome to INFOSYS.
. . .
.
The fellow was appointed in a newly created section 'Stress Management' in the HRD of Infosys !

Beauty of mother nature .......



Ice Crystals


Bird of Lights



Earth's Belly Button



Flowery Pathway



Porco Rosso's Secret Base (alluded to the 1992 Miyazaki's animated feature film Porco Rosso)



Sea Shells


Misty Forest


Lenticular Cloud



The Marks of Wind


Rays of Dawn



Wave of Clouds



Yellow Stream



Dreamscape



 Paradise



Blue Planet


 


Friday, June 25, 2010

Never sick again

Healthy Juices ..........

HEALTHY JUICES
 

mail by: alpha-Q group
Carrot + Ginger + Apple  -
Boost and cleanse our system.



mail by: alpha-Q group
Apple + Cucumber + Celery -  
Prevent cancer, reduce cholesterol, and improve stomach upset and headache.
 


mail by: alpha-Q group
Tomato + Carrot + Apple
- Improve skin complexion and bad breath.
 


mail by: alpha-Q group
Bitter gourd + Apple + Milk
-  Avoid bad breath and reduce internal body heat.  


mail by: alpha-Q group
Orange
+ Ginger + Cucumber
- Improve Skin texture and moisture and reduce body heat.  


mail by: alpha-Q group
Pineapple + Apple + Watermelon
- To dispel excess salts, nourishes the bladder and kidney.  


mail by: alpha-Q  group
Apple + Cucumber + Kiwi
- To improve skin complexion.  


mail by: alpha-Q group
Pear & Banana
-   regulates sugar content.  


mail by: alpha-Q group
Carrot + Apple + Pear + Mango
- Clear body heat, counteracts toxicity, decreased blood pressure and fight oxidization .
 


mail by: alpha-Q group
Honeydew + Grape + Watermelon + Milk
- Rich in vitamin C + Vitamin B2 that increase cell activity and strengthen body immunity.  


mail by: alpha-Q group
Papaya + Pineapple + Milk
- Rich in vitamin C, E, Iron. Improve skin complexion and metabolism.  


mail by: alpha-Q group
Banana + Pineapple + Milk
- Rich in vitamin with nutritious and prevent constipation.



KNOW ABOUT THE BENEFITS OF HAVING FRUITS AND VEGETABLES   REGARDS, MANIKANDAN,
Fruit
Benefit
Benefit
Benefit
Benefit
Benefit
 
  apples
Protects your heart
prevents constipation
Blocks diarrhea
Improves lung capacity
Cushions joints
 
apricots
Combats cancer
Controls blood pressure
Saves your eyesight
Shields against Alzheimer's
Slows aging process
 
artichokes
Aids digestion
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Guards against liver disease
 
avocados
Battles diabetes
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
 
bananas
Protects your heart
Quiets a cough
Strengthens bones
Controls blood pressure
Blocks diarrhea
 
beans
Prevents constipation
Helps hemorrhoids
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Stabilizes blood sugar
 
beets
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Protects your heart
Aids weight loss
 
blueberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Boosts memory
Prevents constipation
 
broccoli
Strengthens bones
Saves eyesight
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
 
cabbage
Combats cancer
Prevents constipation
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Helps hemorrhoids
 
cantaloupe
Saves eyesight
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Supports immune system
 
carrots
Saves eyesight
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Promotes weight loss
 
 


Keep A Good Health